Can you be truly glad when someone else gets the good you were hoping for?
Islamic Studies · 40 Hadith, 9th and 10th Grade · 60 to 75 minutes
Last lesson, Hadith 12 was about guarding your attention: leaving alone the things that do not concern you, such as other people's private business, gossip, and arguments that go nowhere.
Leave alone the things that add nothing to your deen or to your life.
Care about what does concern you: the good of the people around you, and what you really want for them.
Minding your own business does not mean not caring. Today's hadith shows that what you want for other people is very much your concern, and that it is tied to your faith.
Think of a real moment, not the answer you think you should give.
Is it possible to be happy for someone and disappointed for yourself at the same time?
Is it easier to be glad for a stranger's win or for a close friend's? Why?
Keep that first feeling in mind. Today's hadith speaks to it directly.
عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ خَادِمِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: "لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ".
On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas ibn Malik (RA), the servant of the Messenger of Allah (SWT) (pbuh), that the Prophet (pbuh) said: "None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself."
Anas ibn Malik (RA) served the Prophet (pbuh) in his home for ten years, starting when he was a boy. That is why al-Nawawi introduces him as "the servant of the Messenger of Allah (SWT) (pbuh)."
The hadith measures faith by what you love for others, not only by what you do for them. Why do you think the measure is in the heart?
لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ، أَوْ قَالَ: لِجَارِهِ، مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ
The Prophet (pbuh) said: "None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother (or he said: for his neighbor) what he loves for himself."
One of the narrators was not certain which of the two words was said, so he honestly passed on both. al-Nawawi points out that al-Bukhari's narration says "brother," with no doubt.
If the word were "neighbor," who would that include on your street, in your building, or at your school? Would they all be Muslim?
وَالَّذِي نَفْسُ مُحَمَّدٍ بِيَدِهِ، لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ
The Messenger of Allah (SWT) (pbuh) said: "By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad (pbuh), none of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself of good."
al-Nawawi points to this narration to show what the love in Hadith 13 is about: good things, meaning acts of obedience to Allah (SWT) and things that are permissible.
Why is "of good" such an important detail? What could go wrong if someone wanted for their friends everything they want for themselves, good or bad?
Which of these four is the hardest part for you to live by, and why?
The word [truly] is in brackets because translators add it. It shows how scholars understand the hadith.
"The scholars, may Allah (SWT) have mercy on them, said: its meaning is that he does not believe with complete faith. Otherwise, the basis of faith is present in someone who does not have this quality."
So the hadith does not say that someone who struggles with this is outside Islam. It shows every believer where complete faith is found. Imam al-Bukhari placed this hadith in the Book of Faith of his Sahih, under the chapter title "Part of faith is to love for one's brother what one loves for oneself."
If this hadith describes complete faith, what is one way your own faith could become more complete this week?
"This may be counted as something too hard to do, but it is not so. Its meaning is that a person's faith is not complete until he loves for his brother in Islam the like of what he loves for himself. This is achieved by loving for him to receive the like of it in a way that does not crowd him out, so that the blessing on his brother takes nothing away from the blessing on him. That is easy for a sound heart. It is only hard for a heart with corruption in it."
Think about a test. If your friend gets an A, your own grade does not drop. Knowledge, good character, health, guidance and Jannah are not prizes that only one person can win.
Some things really can go to only one person, like a single spot on a team. Even then, you can want good for your friend and ask Allah (SWT) for good for yourself in another way.
When someone else does well, does it really take something away from me, or does it only feel that way?
The hadith speaks in the masculine, the way Arabic speaks to a mixed group. A girl loves for her sister what she loves for herself.
It includes every Muslim, including the ones you find hard to like, the ones who annoy you, and the ones you compete with.
A number of scholars, al-Nawawi among them, read "brother" widely, so that it includes every person. Other scholars read it as brotherhood in faith. On the wider reading, the greatest good you can want for someone who is not Muslim is guidance, the same guidance you are grateful for yourself.
That would include neighbors, classmates and family members who are not Muslim. Wanting good for them in this life and praying for their guidance go together.
Whichever reading you follow, the next hadith teaches how to treat all people.
فَمَنْ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يُزَحْزَحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَيَدْخُلَ الْجَنَّةَ، فَلْتَأْتِهِ مَنِيَّتُهُ وَهُوَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ، وَلْيَأْتِ إِلَى النَّاسِ الَّذِي يُحِبُّ أَنْ يُؤْتَى إِلَيْهِ
The Prophet (pbuh) said: "...So whoever would love to be kept away from the Fire and to enter Paradise, let his death come to him while he believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, and let him treat people the way he would love to be treated..."
In the full hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) warns of trials that would come to the Ummah one after another, and then tells the believers what will keep them safe.
Hadith 13 is about what you want for people. This hadith is about how you treat them. How does the first make the second easier?
When the Muhajirun (RA) left Makkah for Madinah, many arrived with almost nothing. The Ansar (RA), the believers of Madinah, shared their homes and their wealth with them. Allah (SWT) describes them in this ayah.
وَالَّذِينَ تَبَوَّءُوا الدَّارَ وَالْإِيمَانَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ يُحِبُّونَ مَنْ هَاجَرَ إِلَيْهِمْ وَلَا يَجِدُونَ فِي صُدُورِهِمْ حَاجَةً مِّمَّا أُوتُوا وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۚ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
And [also for] those who were settled in the Home [i.e., al-Madinah] and [adopted] the faith before them. They love those who emigrated to them and find not any want in their breasts of what they [i.e., the emigrants] were given but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful.
Hadith 13 asks you to want the same good for your brother. The Ansar (RA) gave others preference over themselves. What would one small step in that direction look like for you?
Scholars separate two feelings that can look alike from the outside.
Wishing that a blessing someone has would be taken away from them, or being unhappy that they have it at all.
Wishing you had something good like theirs, without wanting it taken away from them. You can be glad for them and inspired at the same time.
A flash of jealousy can come to anyone. What matters is what you do with it next: whether you feed it by comparing, criticizing, and hoping they fail, or push back against it.
Think of a time you felt jealous of someone. Was it closer to hasad or to ghibtah? What made it one or the other?
لَا حَسَدَ إِلَّا فِي اثْنَتَيْنِ: رَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ مَالًا فَسُلِّطَ عَلَى هَلَكَتِهِ فِي الْحَقِّ، وَرَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ الْحِكْمَةَ فَهْوَ يَقْضِي بِهَا وَيُعَلِّمُهَا
The Prophet (pbuh) said: "There is no envy except in two cases: a man whom Allah (SWT) has given wealth, and he spends it all in the right way, and a man whom Allah (SWT) has given wisdom, and he judges by it and teaches it."
Imam al-Bukhari placed this hadith under a chapter he called "al-ightibat in knowledge and wisdom," using a word from the same root as ghibtah. Scholars explain that the "envy" here means wanting to do the same good, not wanting it taken from the other person.
Who is someone whose good deeds or knowledge make you want to do better, without wanting them to do worse?
وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ ۚ لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبُوا ۖ وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ ۚ وَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا
And do not wish for that by which Allah (SWT) has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah (SWT) of His (SWT) bounty. Indeed Allah (SWT) is ever, of all things, Knowing.
When you catch yourself staring at what someone else was given, this ayah turns you toward the One who gave it. Another person's blessing takes nothing away from what Allah (SWT) can give you.
Where in your life do you compare yourself to others the most? What would it look like to ask Allah (SWT) for good there, instead of comparing?
With a partner, choose two cards. For each one, name the first thought that might honestly come, then decide what Hadith 13 would have you think, say, and do next.
Your friend got a higher grade on the test you both studied hard for, and everyone is congratulating them.
Your teammate was picked to start the game you were hoping to start.
Someone's post about a trip, a new phone, or an award keeps showing up, and you feel worse each time you see it.
A sibling or cousin is praised at a family gathering for something you also worked hard at.
A friend got into the program you both applied to, and you did not.
A classmate has memorized much more Quran than you, and people keep mentioning it.
Which card felt the most real? Which response could you actually do this week?
مَا مِنْ عَبْدٍ مُسْلِمٍ يَدْعُو لِأَخِيهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ إِلَّا قَالَ الْمَلَكُ: وَلَكَ بِمِثْلٍ
The Messenger of Allah (SWT) (pbuh) said: "There is no Muslim servant who makes dua for his brother in his absence except that the angel says: 'And for you the like of it.'"
Name the feeling honestly to yourself, and choose not to feed it.
Congratulate them and mean it. Ask Allah (SWT) to bless what they were given.
Make dua for them by name, in private, for the very good you want for yourself. Then ask Allah (SWT) for good for yourself too.
Every deed is weighed by the intention behind it.
The deen has three levels: Islam, iman and ihsan.
Islam is built on five pillars.
Four things were written before you were born, and you are still told to act.
Worship Allah (SWT) the way the Prophet (pbuh) taught, without adding new things to the religion.
Halal and haram are clear, and staying away from the unclear things between them protects your deen and your honor.
The religion is sincerity: to Allah (SWT), His (SWT) Book, His Messenger (pbuh), the leaders of the Muslims and their common people.
People are dealt with by what they show outwardly, and their reckoning is with Allah (SWT).
Avoid what is forbidden, and do what is commanded as much as you are able.
Allah (SWT) is good and accepts only what is good, including what we earn and eat.
Leave what makes you doubt for what does not.
Leave alone what does not concern you.
Want for others the good you want for yourself.
Notice how many of them come back to the heart: intention, sincerity, a clear conscience, and now what you want for other people.
Take out a sheet of paper and write your three answers quietly.
Your writing stays with you.
The ayah right after the one about the Ansar (RA) describes the believers who came after them. They ask Allah (SWT) to keep their hearts free of resentment toward other believers. You can make the same dua.
وَالَّذِينَ جَاءُوا مِن بَعْدِهِمْ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ
And [there is a share for] those who come after them, saying, "Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You (SWT) are Kind and Merciful."
Each day this week, make dua by name, in private, for one person whose good news is hard for you to be glad about. Ask Allah (SWT) to give them the very good you want for yourself.
Learn the dua in this ayah, and make it whenever you feel envy or resentment toward someone.